Pick-Up Lines
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
(Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck itself!
Are those real? ...Prove it!
Baby, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.
Can I buy you a drink... or do you just want the money?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long!
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning!
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.
My name is (Your Name Here)... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me!
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
You must wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.
You need me like a drug addict needs cocain... I fuck with your brain.